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Rec.Humor.Oracle.D FAQ

This is the elusive FAQ, posted every day, excluding weekends, All-Saints Day, Boxing Day, Christmas, Christmas Eve, New Year's, New Year's Eve, Easter, Thanksgiving, Chanukah, the Fourth of July, Cinco de Mayo, Valentine's Day, President's Day, Abraham Lincoln's birthday, Martin Luther King Jr's birthday, George Washington's birthday, George Washington Carver's birthday, Memorial Day, Ramadan, Veteran's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Secretary's Day, Mardi Gras, St Patrick's Day, Founders Day, Flag Day, Shavuot, Halloween, Labor Day, Kwanzaa, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Purim, holidays and weekdays. This FAQ is not to be distributed in any way, shape, or form, unless you feel like it. Changes to the FAQ can be requested by using the feedback form. The Internet Oracle is copyright and property of Stephen B Kinzler, Esq.

Before continuing, you might want to read:
Internet Oracle help file
About the Internet Oracle web page
Not-Quite Newbie Internet Oracle FAQ

Some notes before we get to the actual questions:
This froup is unmoderated. You'll see spam, you'll see trolls, and, heck, who knows, you might actually see some actual discussion going on about a variety of things. You see something you don't like? No one's making you look, so leave. Not to be overly cruel or anything, but if you can't cope with the level of insanity in the room, get out of the sanitarium.

Oh, and no posting in HTML, or MIME, or anything other than just plain ol' text. Text is your friend. Love the text. Live the text. Be the text. You can even have sex with the text, if you want, just because we're that sort of people. Just don't tell us you're having sex with the text, because those kinds of paper cuts can get quite icky, and we're not into that sort of thing. But if you are, go right ahead. Just like we're not making you look, we're not preventing you from doing just about anything else, either. Except from posting in HTML, or MIME, or showing us your favourite wallpaper in a binary. Binaries are evil. That's why they usually have their own servers.

Right. So. Questions, then.
FAQ Location
What is rhod?
Off-topic Discussions
To get flamed
Before you post
1. Where is the FAQ?
2. Why did you do that?
It's called a homage.
3. Well, I call it theft.
Can we get on with it?
4. I'm asking the questions!
Are you now?
5. Yes, I am.
Then why did you just answer a question?
7. Because ... um, that is ... now I'm really confused.
What is rhod?
8. A gathering of -- now just a second!
Hee hee.
9. What is rhod?

Rhod -- or rhod, depending on how you pronounce it -- is the gathering of all the insane priests, incarnations, supplicants, and occasional wanderer who frequent the Oracular service. This gathering is usually textual in nature, along with mildly sexual, coarse, infantile (but that's only Dan; you can ignore him), and, on very rare occasions, delightfully informative. It is not, repeat, NOT, about that company with the database fixation. The Internet Oracle is actually very cheesed about that company, and how they stole his name, and the seventeen million dollar lawsuit didn't help at all. Besides, didn't you notice the "humor" part of the froup name? Silly.
10. That was very good. However, I'm looking for a description that would fit on, say, a business card.
On one side:
" for the person who has everything..."

On the other, in fine print:
"...including but not limited to: psychiatric illness, venereal disease, halitosis, leprosy..."
11. I've noticed that several, if not all, of the posts are off-topic.
Actually, no.

The Usenet/Internet Oracle, being a repository for all earthly (and some off-worldly) knowledge, is the main subject of conversation. By introducing new topics, one only continues to add to that knowledge-base ... and that's assuming that an infinite omnipotent omniscient being can be added to. Technically speaking, nothing is off-topic, short of spam or trolls.
12. What counts as spam?
Any business and/or individual offering paid-for services, marketing schemes, letter campaigns, get-rich-quick scams, "informative" newsletters, porn (unless it's in the context of the current conversation), binaries, HTML, and/or products. Also, anything we -- meaning the general consensus of r.h.o.d -- deem as spam, is. No arguments; the decision is final.

We're not wholly heartless, however; if you have a business you'd like to promote, try contributing to one of the current conversations. Just keep your advertisement limited to a line or two below your signature delimiter, like this:
pieceoftheuniverse                    ‹›   Never updated, never noticed.
Replace "spam" with "piece" to reply. ‹›
A standard signature delimiter is two dashes, a space, and a new line, like so: "-- "
13. What is a troll?
Fools who think the best way to get attention is to see who they can rile. Usually they will post offensive language, discuss bothersome topics, insist a certain fanbase is stupid, etc.

For more on trolls and other terms of Usenet, look up etiquette and jargon.
14. What does "TOIJ" mean?
It translates as "Tired Old In-Joke," relating an inside joke originating in r.h.o.d itself, in one of the Oracular digests, or, more frequently, both. The current -- but by no means complete -- in-joke list is somewhere around here.
15. What do you have to say to get flamed in rhod?
From the mind of Donald Welsh:
First, point out to the shiftless artiste clan of incarnations that there are no oracularities with the words "pancreas" and "laundromat".

Second, summon SWSNBN and J**l F*rr.

Third, infect everyone with an earworm worse than "It's a Small World".

Last, open portals to froups harboring the alt.syntax.tactical tribe.

Note that I didn't say this would be a good idea.
16. Is there anything else I should know before sending my first post?

First of all, do us all a favour and lurk for a bit. Subscribe, sit back, and read through the backlog for the rest of the day. Then hit refresh, and go through all of that. Repeat the process for about, say, a week, or at the very least until you're comfortable with the attitudes and topics being flung about. Then make your first post -- nothing daring like starting your own thread, but maybe contribute to a poker cascade, or offer an opinion on which hair dye goes best with fluorescent jeans. Gradually get into the feel of things, and soon you might even be a respected member of the rhodite community.

That would make you a first, by the way.

Secondly, there's a little ritual we go through for all newbies. It can be quite frightening, but if you're holding the Holy Sprig of Oregano and the Divine Vat of BBQ Sauce, you'll be well-preserved.

Think we're missing out on a question or two? Well, that's what feedback's all about.